Why Snow White Didn't Eat the Apple (Among other things)
by FantasyFreak475
Summary: The Wicked Queen finds out a secret about Snow White. Can the Queen win against someone with such an advantage?


Why Snow White Didn't Eat the Apple

The Wicked Queen came up to Snow White's door. _One bite, _she thought, _One bite and I won't have to worry about her anymore._

She knocked on the door. It pained her to know that she looked hideous right now, but she had use a disguise.

"Hello?" She called.

"Who is it?" A sickly sweet voice answered.

"Oh," The Queen said, "Just and old peddler, trying to sell her wares."

She smiled to herself. _No one would suspect an old woman_, she thought.

The door opened. The Queen was met with a beautiful pale face that radiated kindness, but the Queen only felt hate.

"What are you selling?" Snow asked cautiously.

"Only some apples. Would you like one? A pretty apple for a pretty girl?" the Queen croons.

_This is foolproof_, she thought, _these apples are the best in the kingdom and everybody knows it. No one would ever refuse these delicious beatuies._

Snow's face fell, "Oh, Sorry. Apples give me indigestion." She smiled apologetically.

The Queen was shocked! No one ever resisted her famous apples, even people who were allergic to them! It was said they were so good; they were even worth dying for!

The Queen recovered. Maybe there is something else Snow White would eat?

"Actually," Snow continued, "Almost anything gives me indigestion. Pretty much all I can eat is…"

The Wicked Queen waited, waited for her rival to name what will be her eventual downfall.

"…Broccoli."

The Queen could not contain the cry of astonishment that came out of her mouth. Broccoli! Oh why did it have to be broccoli?

Everybody knew that eating broccoli made you beautiful, but at a grave price. It gave you really smelly gas! The Queen had heard legends about the fearful power of broccoli farts. (That's why the Queen had always prided herself on being able to stay beautiful without eating broccoli.)

Apparently, even if you smell one from a mile away (Broccoli farts can travel that far), your eyes will start watering uncontrollably!

The Queen wondered who could have possibly cursed Snow White with this cruel fate. This had to be a curse, for no one's own body would push this on them. Imagine, eating only broccoli your entire life! Your gas would be unimaginably smelly!

The Wicked Queen knew Snow White had won. (The Queen would never be able to grow broccoli in her garden, even poisonous broccoli.)

Snow White was staring at the Queen funnily, and the Queen remembered her disguise.

"Oh well, I don't have any broccoli to sell, sorry." She said.

Snow looked disappointed, "Oh, ok. Well, goodbye!" She started to close the door.

The Queen was about to leave when her curiosity got the better of her.

"Wait!" She called. Snow White stopped.

"Have you…" The Queen asked cautiously, "ever had a problem with um, bodily gasses?"

Snow White looked puzzled for a moment. But then a knowing look come onto her face, "Oh I don't fart much, but when I do, they aren't that bad. They don't smell at all really."

_How is this possible?_ The Queen thought, _this girl has been eating broccoli her entire life, and she doesn't have bomb-like farts! How?_

Just then, a nasty smell filled the air. The Queen had no warning, just acid in her eyes. She stumbled away.

Broccoli farts. Silent but deadly.

Snow White was standing through it all with a smile on her face. Her face didn't even twitch.

The Wicked Queen finally realized how Snow White had lived through her dreadful life, how she had coped and how she got through all her struggles.

Snow White had no sense of smell.

Knowing she could never, ever win against someone this powerful, the Queen went back to her castle, defeated.

**This randomly came to me one day and I decided to write it. It was meant to be funny, hopefully it was. If you don't like how the vegetable is broccoli, you can vote on what I should change it to, or just keep it like that. You can put your vote in the review, you can PM me, or I have a poll on my profile. The votes will stop next month. Well, that's it! See you next time! Please R&R!**

**FantasyFreak475**


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